dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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