I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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