try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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