OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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