I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
