and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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