Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
