i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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