She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she smelled like a LAN party
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
