hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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