do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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