I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
COCAINE IS GR8
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
