oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
