he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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