the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
