you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
