There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize