Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
