Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
only if we run a train.
done.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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