I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
