I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
