You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
