Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
