Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
