Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
