Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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