She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
thus making me awesome and them whores
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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