I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?