who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
