THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
