if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
