OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
