And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
