I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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