why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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