my sisters under your porch take her home
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
