just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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