She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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