His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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