good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
