u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.