how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You need Xanax blowdarts
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.