she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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