Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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(480): View more from Arizona

you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open

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(317): View more from Indiana

you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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(702): View more from Nevada

you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

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(613): View more from Ontario

that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi

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