if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!