this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.