just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
