Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
