And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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