Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
