is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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