this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
