Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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