thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
