So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
