i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
