Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
