the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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