I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
