Pappa wants mamma naked
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
