people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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