It's Friday. Sex?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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