We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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