Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
