Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
whose ass print is on the piano?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
