You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
