Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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